When fairly young I found I had a talent for music, specifically playing the trumpet. I studied hard, but because I started relatively late I found it difficult going. Never the less I succeeded in gaining an A level in music and a Grade 8 with Distinction for my trumpet playing. Armed with these achievements I found a place at music school. I studied for an honours degree, but to get it I had to put the qualification first and my trumpet playing second. As I had started playing the trumpet late – on, my tutors felt that I would not be able to reach the extremely high standard required to make it the main study of my degree. I studied composition instead.

I duly got the degree, but by the end of my studies my trumpet playing held only a vestigial interest for me. What had first ignited my passion for music had been sacrificed on the altar of qualification. A few years later I stopped playing the trumpet completely. I did not play again for about 16 years. I wonder now what would have happened if I had continued practising during that time.

By far the majority of us want to develop - become the best we can possibly be. We naturally look around us for opportunities that will help us do this. We might choose to study a subject that interests us, seek out work that we find personally satisfying and stretching, or take up an enjoyable and stimulating hobby.

We find, however, that some of our choices fail to deliver what we want. They do not give us the insights, stimulation and satisfaction that we thought they would. Yes, some opportunities might shine brightly for a while, full of promises of fulfilment and achievement, but gradually they begin to fade – their first bright rays disappearing to reveal a mere fascination with something new and novel (and the novelty has begun to wear off).

But some opportunities stay with us over the long haul, the satisfaction and stimulation we derive from them only increasing with time and familiarity. Why is this? What is the difference between those choices that stick and those that do not? This article will explore why some approaches to development are more successful for us than others. It will outline how each of us can stack the odds in our favour and increase the likelihood of our chosen developmental paths providing us with the results we need and the answers we seek.

Those of us that are enthusiastic to develop, that want to make the most of our selves, can become victims of the bright neon lights of new and enticing approaches, techniques and qualifications. They promise much: you will learn the karate of interpersonal skills; achieve balance in your life by addressing all your unique physical and spiritual qualities; gain clever hints and tips that will make instantaneous improvements to your life.

These approaches are the magic ointment of personal development. They promise, if applied regularly to the affected areas, to take away our pain and irritation and enhance our everyday lives. Become an accredited, certificated, master of the latest interpersonal technique and the world of business will fall at your feet (as well as anything or anyone else that takes your fancy). Buy the latest computerised time management system and become efficient, effective (and envied) overnight. Obtain the latest self help book from the grandest of self help gurus and have all the right answers at your finger tips (or at the very least gain kudos by walking around with it slotted neatly under your arm or poking out of your bag).

These approaches attempt, very successfully, to make junkies of those that wish to improve themselves. They offer quick glamorous fixes of magic. They have immediate affects: we are acknowledged for our good sense in buying in to the dream; we become part of an exclusive, but at the same time ever growing, club; we become privy to the latest thinking, hints and tips before anyone else (apart that is from all the others who have also paid for the privilege).

We buy into an illusion of exclusivity that promises to give us a head start on anyone else and help us fulfil our potential quickly and painlessly (as long as we keep applying the ointment that is).

In short, we become victims of the tools that we have chosen to use – junkies scraping together the time and money to get our next fix. The creators of these magical concoctions have us exactly where they want us – splayed out ready for exploitation and repeated applications of their quack medicine.

Once the penny drops and we realise that the superficial gloss has not delivered the lasting results we had hoped for, but only a thin layer of personal polish or glimmer, an extra coating of interpersonal or intellectual chrome, it is too late. We are deeply addicted and with this addiction comes disappointment. We begin to see the ideas we embraced for what they really are: lightweight tumbleweed ideas being blown over the surface of people’s minds – going everywhere but rooted and belonging nowhere, certainly not belonging to ourselves. Still, by this time they are all we have, so we cling to them.

With magic comes power – power for those that control it. Magic, power and control are some of the major constituents of Religion. It is not surprising therefore that quick fix magical personal development approaches take on the fervour and zeal associated with thrusting and vibrant religions. As an approach becomes ever more popular it also becomes more controlling. It starts appointing its own clergy, recognised masters and high profile converts to the cause, their job to keep the faithful on the true path.

The approach rapidly mutates into a ‘movement’ or ‘school of thought’. It becomes both exclusive and all embracing at one and the same time, determinedly working towards its nirvana: its developmental approach being the one true approach embraced by all. It starts to hunt out the unworthy and the uninitiated, actively shunning them and pointing out the error of their ways; imploring them to convert at once.

Their message is simple: convert to the one true path or be damned to mediocrity for the remainder of your natural life.

Strong stuff that is hard to resist - and millions do not, their donations swelling the coffers of those that own the copyrights to the quick fix religions of personal development.

For our personal development to be truly effective, for it to have any chance of delivering what we deeply desire, we must own it. We must see through the bright illusions of the neon lit night and search out the first rays of our own sunshine. To succeed at this task we need patience, perseverance and courage. We must also learn how to appreciate the journey as well as the destination. The sun does not rise because we want it to; if it seems to it is a false dawn, another illusion.

True personal development is as much about the journey as it is the destination. Sometimes, it is only when we look back at the journey that we can really appreciate the destination. People who make radical changes in their lives, perhaps downshifting from high pressure jobs into less well paid but more fulfilling and balanced lifestyles, see their new choices through the lens of their past experiences. Their choice, therefore, makes perfect sense to them. But others looking in from outside see only part of the picture - what is happening now without the context of what has happened in the past. They therefore make little sense of it, perhaps writing off the choices made as bad judgement or even the results of failure.

To own and take back control of our personal development we must avoid binging on the neatly vacuum - packed produce of quick fix developmental approaches, be they courses, qualifications, or trendy self – help books. We must have the courage to do this even if they have acquired the pseudo – gravitas of a movement or recognised school of thought. We must find our own way and utilise only those approaches, tools and ideas that fit in with what we really want to achieve and be.

Here are some questions to ask yourself when thinking about how best to progress your personal development:

Where do I start?

What am I doing well now?

Do I value what I do well well enough?

What developmental approaches, skills, knowledge will build on or complement my existing skills/knowledge?

How much effort will I need to put in?

How much effort/expense will achieving my personal goals take?

Am I willing to make the commitment in terms of time, effort and money?

Do the promised or probable results seem to balance with the amount of effort required?

What Skills and/or qualifications do I need?

What are the essential core skills that I need to develop in order to achieve what I want?

What qualifications are essential to my success?

Will gaining qualifications help my self – development or take attention away from the areas I really wish to focus on?

Which developmental approaches best match my needs and the way I like to do things?

What is the best way for me personally to attain the knowledge/skills I need?

What is the best way for me personally to practise these skills/apply this knowledge?

How do I like to learn and which opportunities match this the best?

How much time have I got for development?

When can I make the time?

Which developmental opportunities best fit my time commitments/constraints?

Where is the best place for me personally to attain the knowledge/skills I need?

Where is the best place for me personally to practise these skills/apply this knowledge?

Which developmental approaches can I control?

Which approaches to my development do I feel will empower me rather than make me feel dependent on them?

Which approaches to my development do I feel I can own, control and apply to my life and work?

Which developmental approaches will work with what I want to achieve rather than against it?

 

I have started playing the trumpet again. My standard of playing and ‘lip’ are both slowly returning. I think that without the pressure of gaining a qualification and by being able to take my time with my practise, I shall end up being a better player than before.

Music is beginning to be fun again.